I’m not going to lie, this has been a really grueling week for me. My new weight loss YouTube channel, My So Called Healthy Life, and videos are helping(please go watch them and like/subscribe please!) It’s one thing to go on a “diet” or make “lifestyle changes”, but when you realize you’re a full blown food addict and you’re going through mental cravings, anxiety and withdrawal symptoms you would go through with any other addiction, it’s really, really difficult. I’m not using this as an excuse. Trust me, at this point I wish I were just struggling with being overweight because that is bad enough, but add on top to it the overwhelming compulsive thoughts of food and eating, doubled with the stress of changing your eating habits, exercising and constantly being surrounded by a foody society…it’s just too much!
The first two weeks really weren’t that difficult. Actually, I was super excited about the changes I was making and I could see some immediate results. But this week is different. I’ve hit a plateau and I feel stuck; both physically and emotionally. In the past few years I’ve really worked hard at being a positive person, which I believe I am, but these last few days I’ve just been a complete bitch. I feel nervous and anxious, like I’m waiting for something, which in the past would have been a huge food binge, but those days are over and I have to just keep trudging along.
I really hate being fat. I stood in my closet for 15 minutes today looking at all of my clothes and realizing that even though I’ve lost 15 pounds, still only a few things fit. Our closet is huge and we both have enough clothes to last us the rest of our lives so the fact that I can’t fit into any of them and that a large majority of them have tags on them is quite depressing. I even have a stack of “motivation” clothes on the floor that I bought in Miami in March that still don’t fit and probably won’t for another 20 pounds.
I could go on and on and on, but the point is that I’m truly struggling this week. Last night I stood in my bathroom daydreaming about food; nachos and tacos from Taco Bell, a whopper from Burger King, a Moons Over My Hammy from Denny’s, Chinese buffet, Chubby Hubby ice cream, pumpkin pie, deep dish sausage and pineapple pizza, a bag of Lays sour cream and onion chips, a Big Mac…it was ridiculous. I was craving Taco Bell so bad last night I thought I was going to lose my mind. But I made it through! I watched videos of people going through similar struggles, just like me and they had made it through and were still doing well and I knew I could do it!
Please go check out my newest video I Hate Being Fat and like it! It’s short and goes into more depth about my struggles this week! Please Subscribe to my new YouTube channel My So Called Healthy Life as well! It would really motivate me! Thanks…