It has been almost two months since I wrote my last blog post. In all honestly, I’m knee deep in napping, reading books I’ve always wanted to read and watching all kinds of TV shows that this blog, and my writing in general, has taken a backseat to those more seemingly important tasks. In one of my last posts I stated that I was going to attempt to write every day for the month of August. Yet here it is October and none of that happened. Hell, I didn’t even make it to the fifth day. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Exactly. I had a client mention to me that I often post things I’m going to do on my blog but I have very little follow through. This observation got me wondering…
What had happened to me? What had made me change from the goal oriented, focused and accomplished dreamer to the modern day Scarlet O’Hara of “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Something had changed in me and it wasn’t healthy. The most interesting fact is that I’ve known that something has changed in me. I’ve felt it and been unable to catapult myself into a tread of action. For these past two months I’ve pondered writing a post called “Good Intentions”, with the intention of explaining my dilemma. I even went so far as to look up the Wikipedia meaning to “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
One meaning of the phrase is that individuals may have the intention to undertake good actions but nevertheless fail to take action. This inaction may be due to procrastination, laziness or other subversive vice. As such, the saying is an admonishment that a good intention is meaningless unless followed through.
Yep, that’s me. But why? I wasn’t always that way. What had happened that made it more important to me to watch 8 back to back episodes of Z Nation or an entire reality series called Sing it On than finishing my book. What had contributed to my utter state of being stuck; lazy and lacking passion.
I don’t know. I do know that when my mother passed away I was filled with a cathartic energy to accomplish all of my dreams and have the best life possible. In the last year, I’ve let my body go, started giving in to bad food, hours of television and caring less about my dreams. It’s time to take back my life and again focus on having the best life possible. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with watching hours of television and gorging on chips and ice cream; it just doesn’t make for a very fulfilling life full of passion and living one’s dreams out loud.
That is the life I want. So I’m back. I’m hoping that blogging daily(my first goal!) will help me to stay focused and find my path towards creativity again. Hopefully. I won’t be giving up my naps or my TV shows, but I will be tweaking my life a little bit. I can have both.
One of my favorite writers, Jackie Collins, recently passed away. We had the honor of interviewing her for our website raannt. I remember her talking about her Tivo being filled and that she loved all kinds of TV. It just goes to prove that you can have it all. She published incredible novels filled with great writing and amazing characters and still watched hours of television. Life is to be filled to the brim with richness, excitement, mystery, intrigue and passion. And it’s mine for the taking.