I was raised on folk music. My earliest memories are filled with the speakers of my mother’s record player spinning tunes from Joan Baez, Judy Collins, Bob Dylan, Arlo Guthrie, Pete Seeger and especially Joni Mitchell. My mother always kept her records in their plastic wrap, perfectly alphabetized Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, Cat Stevens, Gordon Lightfoot, and Simon and Garfunkel. Their lyrics were my lullabies and their stories were my stories as I grew up, contemplating adult ideas and feelings long before I should have been concerned. Much of this music is lost today. Once in awhile I’ll mention a favorite song of one of these artists and people look at me as if they have no idea what I’m talking about. Even at 43 I still relate to the words of Janis Ian’s At Seventeen, yet remind myself of a newer truth, that It isn’t all it seems…at forty-three…
Tonight I was cleaning out my e-mail and noticed that my Old Messages folder was filled with e-mails from businesses like The Coffee Shop Billionaire, Wealthy Affiliate and programs like iTunes Affiliate and Amazon Affiliate, as well as many others. I started to delete these messages then thought maybe I should check out these amazing programs. I mean, who wouldn’t like sitting in a coffee shop and running a multi-million dollar online business? I went back through my messages and deleted the rest of the crap I didn’t need and came back to these “invitations”. (I should warn you before proceeding…First, this is not a review and second, I will probably use lots of quotation marks, indicating sarcasm.) I slowly started reading them, one by one, and really giving them attention in a way I hadn’t before.
When I posted the picture above on Instagram someone commented, “Why are you pouting?” My response was, “Because I’m fat and hungry!” The truth is that I’ve been complaining about my weight for several years and still cannot seem to do anything about it. Actually, can’t is the wrong word. I still choose to not do anything about it.
Every year on New Year’s Day I make a list of goals I want to achieve for the following year. Interestingly, because I’m pretty goal oriented, I seem to accomplish many of these goals each year, no matter how lofty they may seem. Today I happened to find my list stuck way far away in my notes section on my phone. I read through them and laughed. I hadn’t completed a single goal on the list; not a single one. That’s actually not entirely true. I had made progress on each one, I just couldn’t cross it off the list. And guess what was at number one? Ding, ding, ding!!!! “Get in shape and get weight down to at least 180”.
Tonight we ate nachos from Chammps…
On July 28th 2008, almost seven years to the day, I started my very first blog which I titled Suicide Birds and Seahorses. I still like that title and it actually has relevance to me seven years later. A lot has changed since I wrote those first words. In fact, at the time, I had no idea what blogging really was or the impact that it could have on others or myself. Since then I’ve had several different blogs, a website and written a book. It’s been a long road and like I said in that very first post, quoting Thelma and Louise, I just can’t go back. Although at my core I’m essentially the same person inside, a lot has changed and I’m not the same person today. That’s a good thing, but it also means that an era of my life has faded away.
Lately, I’ve been keeping a list of all of my favorite things. The idea grew out of an assignment I give my journey clients on keeping an attitude of gratitude alive in your daily life. Since I have never given an assignment that I haven’t done myself, obviously I want to live the best life possible too, I sat down with my phone and made a new folder, titling it “My Favorite Things”.
In the last few weeks I’ve been thinking that as I get older I might like to keep a journal or diary. I’m not really sure what I’ll put in it that is an different than my normal blog posts, but I’m thinking it will be more stream of consciousness and random thoughts instead of a well thought out blog post. If I’m being completely honest with myself, none of my blog posts are well thought out; they’re all random.
Most nights I find myself struggling to fall asleep as thoughts of things I need to do and the worries of my life fill my head. Typically these are useless thoughts as there isn’t much more I can do than grabbing my phone for the 100th time and writing myself a note, text or email, all of which I forget in the morning. Recently I’ve been trying to think of more positive things to help soothe myself to sleep. A few nights ago I found myself doing this when I remembered that it had always been my dream to be on one of Oprah’s My Favorite Things shows, where she gifted thousands of dollars of gifts to her audience members. Now, I love a good gift. I do, as well, love to give gifts, but I’m going to be very, very honest and admit that I adore getting gifts, especially if someone has taken special time to find just the right thing. Clients often bring me candles for my office with scents that remind them of me or bags of their special Chex mix. These gifts are the most special because they come from the heart! I’m a sucker for a hand made card. But don’t get me wrong…I’ll take a Gucci pair of sunglasses any day! (Thanks Aunt Kathy!)